Simple Ways to Be Kind to Yourself and Practice Self-love - Life's Little Pleasures and Struggles

90 Shares

One of the best things you can do to make yourself happy is to be kind to yourself intentionally. Life will become easier, your relationships will most likely improve, and you will feel happier. And your self-esteem will grow and your sense of accomplishments in life will also get a boost up. When you practice self-love and be kind to yourself, it lessens your stress and anxiety and so much of your struggles.

2020 and 2021 were unusually hard for almost all of us to deal with. Though it has come to an end, the reasons for our concerns and anxieties are still very much present. With so much of unexpected things happening all the time, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. How can we focus on ourselves when there is so much going on around us, not even to mention worrying about our careers, families, health, money, and everything else that comes with such uncertainties?

But this is the time when you need to be especially kind to yourself so you can deal with your life-challenges and struggles with ease and positivity.

A wealth of research has shown the positive consequences of self-love and self-compassion on numerous aspects of our well-being, including a greater life satisfaction, emotional intelligence, interconnectedness with others, wisdom, curiosity, happiness, and optimism. It also shows that having more self-compassion builds resilience in the face of adversity, helping people to recover more quickly from trauma or romantic separation. It also helps us to better cope with failure or embarrassment.

Ways to Be Kind to Yourself and Be Happier:

You owe yourself the love that you so freely and willingly give to others, as the old Buddhist saying goes, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.” Below you will discover some great ways to be kind to yourself so you can be happier.

This post contains affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase through our links then we may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Thank you so much for your continued support!

Do Something That Brings You Joy

One of the simplest ways to be kind to yourself is to do something that brings you joy. It’s a powerful way to add value to our lives and be happier, but we often overlook this. Every day carve out some time for yourself and do things that spark joy and make you happy.

Learn something new and exciting. Do something that you have always dreamed about. Find a new hobby. Explore new things that you love and enjoy. Find things that make you and your heart smile. Lean into those moments and create more of them as often as you can. That will work as a stress-reliever and anti-depressant, and will give new meaning to your life.

Practice Positive Self-talk

We are all familiar with the inner critic. It’s that little voice in our heads that’s quick to judge and has a tendency to be harshly self-critical. Try changing the self-talk that says you should feel ashamed, less worthy, humiliated, scared, or punished.

Instead, ask yourself this: What is the purpose of that critical voice inside you? Will it help? Will it set a wrong right or keep you from ever making that mistake again? If not, make it quiet. If it’s anything less than positive, loving, encouraging, and supportive, it’s time to make a change. Don’t let your self-talk come in your way and hamper your self-esteem or own personal growth.

You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, siblings, or your kids.

Acknowledge Your Accomplishments and Celebrate Your Victories

Often, we are quick to acknowledge the achievements of others, but slow to acknowledge our own. There are many accomplishments or victories we simply don’t take the time to recognize and celebrate. Instead, we wait for others to recognize our accomplishments. That has to stop. Celebrate your own achievements and victories and give yourself recognition because no one else understands exactly what it took to accomplish them.

When you do something you are proud of, stop for a minute and dwell on it. Praise yourself and relish the achievement. Give yourself a pat on the back, and take time to celebrate your victories, however small they are.

Forgive Others

This is one of the important and proven ways how you can be kind to yourself. When you decide to forgive someone, you let the grudge go that was weighing you down emotionally. You free yourself of the anger and bitterness that were only causing anguish to yourself.

Don’t Be Hard On Yourself For Your Past Mistakes or Failures

Also, learn to forgive yourself. You are not perfect, and like everybody else, you screw up, too. Maybe you did something in the past that you are not proud of. Forgive yourself for the things that you are holding yourself guilty for a long time. Accept your imperfections and learn from your mistakes. It’s really important that you show kindness and compassion to yourself as well as others.

If you are angry at yourself for something you did, you need to stop blaming yourself, resolve to do better from now on, and be kind to yourself by forgiving your weakness, mistakes, or failures.

Make Self-care a Priority

You can’t have a happier and healthier mind and body, if you are not intentional about finding time to show some love and care to your own self. We are always busy. Busy taking care of others but too busy to take time out to practice self-care. We easily put ourselves to the bottom of the priority list and put others first. Instead, be intentional about creating some time for yourself and you will be a happier and stronger person because of it.

Get enough sleep, eat healthy, and get some form of exercise on a regular basis. In addition, choose a way to release stress, be well groomed, and look after your appearance.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury, rather a pure necessity for your overall well-being. Self-care means intentionally doing things to take care of your mind, body, and soul by engaging in activities that promote your well-being, uplift your spirit, and reduce stress. Doing so enhances your ability to enjoy your life and live intentionally, on your own terms.

Stay Away From the Negative People

One of the most effective and simple ways to reduce your stress is to change who you surround yourself with, and it’s totally within your control. Cut off the people who only bring negativity and drama into your life, and make it complicated and stressful. Also, try to get out of all the toxic relationships you might be involved in. A toxic relationship is not only stressful but harmful, too.

Carefully choose your battles, and surround yourself with the people who are positive minded, and who truly care for you, encourage you to do better, and add value to your life.

Respect Yourself

Be kind to yourself by deeply respecting yourself. Self-respect forms the foundation of all the decisions you will ever make, how you treat yourself, and how you allow others to treat you. It means having confidence in yourself and behaving with grace, honor, and dignity. It’s trusting yourself, thinking for yourself, forming your own opinions, and making your own decisions. In addition, it’s refusing to compare yourself to others.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Imperfect

People who set a standard of perfection for themselves are setting themselves up for failure. Can you think of anything more unkind than making success impossible for yourself by continuously striving for perfection that doesn’t exist?

When you desire perfection, you experience more frustration and stress. And to be honest, nothing is really perfect in this world. Perfection is defined according to our individual expectations and acceptance. So, instead of setting a standard of perfection for yourself, strive for “excellence” and aim to improve, one step at a time.

Remind Yourself of Your Good Qualities and Appreciate Them

Always remind yourself of your good qualities and positive traits. Maybe you are a little heavier than “the ideal body type”, but you have a pretty face. Or maybe you are not great at sports, but you excel in Math & Science. Maybe you are not a great cook, but you have great organizational skill.

It doesn’t have to be big things either. Maybe just that you made your bed this morning or prepared dinner for your family tonight. The important thing is to appreciate yourself both for the little things and the things you may take for granted and the big milestones you may reach once in while.

Write down your 5 most admired positive traits and why you are proud of them. You see, you are awesome! Doesn’t that make you feel happier?

Believe That You’re Good Enough

At some points of our lives, we have all believed that we are not smart enough, or strong enough, or good looking enough to get what we want. Some of us may even feel like we are not good enough to be happy or to achieve something great in life. Well, we need to stop that unhealthy “I’m not enough” self-talk and replace it with confidence and positivity.

When you look at your flaws, find beauty in them. If you are not constantly focusing on your flaws or shortcomings, you will start to feel more whole. This would change how you show up in the world, how you feel about life, and how you deal with others. In addition, tell yourself that nothing has to change to make you worthy. You are already enough.

In order to live your best life, you need to believe in yourself. Have faith in your own abilities and strengths. Think highly of yourself and never doubt your abilities to do better.

Invest in Yourself

Spend around 30 minutes a day reading, learning, listening to or watching materials that uplift you, that improve your outlook on life, or that help you to live a more meaningful life in line with your core values and priorities. Then, put that knowledge into action to make a positive difference in your life.

Simplify Your Goals to Honor Your Dreams

People who are kind to themselves and want to live a meaningful life, always try to make their dreams come true. That is, they don’t downplay their dreams by labeling them as silly fantasies or mere wishes. Instead, they take their dreams seriously by turning those dreams into SMART goals, and creating an action plan for achieving those goals by simplifying them.

Show Yourself Compassion

It’s important that you be compassionate with yourself when you are hurting. Self-compassion means being kind, gentle, and understanding with yourself. In the book, How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz, the authors recommend that you befriend yourself by showing yourself compassion.

When you are in pain, ask: “How can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?” Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies, failures, or shortcomings, be kind and understanding with yourself when confronted with personal loss or sufferings.

Accept Yourself as You Are

Yes, accept yourself just the way you are. You have some strengths, and you have some weaknesses. Sometimes you succeed in your endeavors, and sometimes you fail miserably. Sometimes you are right, and sometimes you are wrong. Allow yourself to fully be who you are. Don’t compare yourself to others and make yourself feel miserable. Everyone is dealing with their own challenges, struggles, and setbacks. Comparisons are unhealthy and detrimental to your own self-esteem.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself. Try to be better than what you were yesterday. Be intentional in creating a great life for yourself. Focus all your energy and attention on your own goals and dreams. Do what is required to achieve them.

Declutter to Reduce Your Stress

This one is very important if you truly want to be kind to yourself and increase your happiness. Decluttering has a profound impact on your mind and your spirit.

A cluttered, messy home increases your stress and anxiety. A direct link between excessive home clutter and higher stress levels has been found in numerous studies in recent years. In one study, women who lived in cluttered homes had high levels of the stress hormone cortisol throughout the day, while those who lived in a well-organized, restful space had lower levels. As psychologist Sherrie Bourg Carter explains in Psychology Today, “Messy homes and work spaces leave us feeling anxious, helpless, and overwhelmed.”

So, be intentional about what you keep in your home and what you get rid of. When you declutter, your home has less stuff and less mess. You don’t always feel the pressure to clean the house. It’s easier to keep it neat and organized, and maintain. You don’t have stuff scattered all around screaming for your constant attention which also results in reduced stress and anxiety. You feel more relaxed, calm, and happier in your home.

Practice Saying “No” more often

You can’t be kind to yourself if you don’t learn to say “no” to things that you don’t want to do or don’t have time for. Saying “no” to anything that complicates your life is an essential quality for happiness. It’s okay to say “no” to people and events, and put your needs first. Remember that every time you say “yes” to something you don’t like to do or don’t have time to do, you are saying “no” to something else that truly matters to you.

Find Your Happy Place

Be kind to yourself by finding your happy place and being there more often. Where is the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, and positive? If possible, go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, or what it looks like.

Sometimes your happy place doesn’t even have to be real. If you have got a beautiful cabin on top of a mountain overlooking a lake or ocean that calms your mind, or even just a bench under a big tree in a nearby park where you can cool your head, that’s great! Psychologists say your happy place can just be an imagined place that exists in your mind or in a picture, and conjuring images of being there can boost your mood in mere seconds.

If you choose just a few of these self-love actions to work on and be kind to yourself, you will soon begin to accept and love yourself more and be happier.